A friend told me that when she was single (she’s currently in a relationship) she’d had a low night in which she’d sat in her car crying, feeling lonely and just overwhelmed with a desire for love.
At that moment, a car full of (a-hole) dudes rolled up, saw her crying and instead of doing the polite thing and pretending not to see my friend crying alone in her car they rolled down their window and started laughing hysterically at her.
Obviously it only made her feel worse.
It’s OK though, after she got into a relationship she was able to look back on that memory and not feel like crap about it. She even made a comedy video about it and it was hilarious.
Because it’s important to be able to laugh at yourself…not take yourself too seriously…not be so hard yourself…and breathe.
I’m having one of those moments.
Not an overwhelming desire for love. I am loved. My desire is for something else. Something bigger and more important to me than a relationship (right now).
My Writing Career.
Instead of crying in my car I’m crying at my computer trying to make these words work. Trying to make this dialogue snappy and funny. Trying to make my Youtube Channel interesting enough to draw in subscribers and get comments and likes etc.
Ugh. It is a low moment. And it’s so overwhelming watching my favorite TV shows, wishing I was part of that writing staff or watching my favorite Youtubers…
Maybe in a few months…or a few weeks…or even a few days (fingers crossed)…I might experience a miracle. And this will be a memory I can laugh at and make a comedy video about….
For now I just need to Breathe…Breathe…Breathe…