Miley Cyrus Had to Get Naked

In the 90s Janet Jackson said, “I get so lonely, can’t let just anybody hold me.  You are the one that lives in me, my dear…”

The sexy song, “I Get Lonely” was on constant replay in my house for most of my middle school and high school career.  But it wasn’t until college, after experiencing my first (official) heartbreak that I began to understand what the words meant.

It was poetry – I’m lonely and I love you therefore I don’t want just anybody to fill this void.  Also, you are the one that lives in me.  Not just in my heart but in my body.

Like, for real, this p*ssy belongs to you.

In the 90s, there were so many talented artists, all of them special and unique in their own way.  Unforgettable artists who really can’t be matched by today’s young pop/R&B singers.  Maybe it was something about that decade – the dancing, the cheesy music videos, the poetry in the lyrics.  The songs meant something and it wasn’t a bunch of b.s.  Maybe it was because Youtube wasn’t around and artists had to actually work super hard to get noticed (instead of buy a million views so that the morning news will play their video and they can appear on a late night talk show) but back then you could tell that the spotlight had been earned.

Now everything has gone to shit.  The artists today are not unique or even remotely interesting.  If possible, the singing is even less impressive than in the 90s.  The music videos are ridiculous.  MTV does not play music anymore (right now the only decent thing on MTV is Awkward but now in its 3rd season I’m getting bored) and there is no poetry in the music whatsoever.

Britney Spears and Rihanna sound exactly alike – how did that happen?  Beyonce (who once did a song with Destiny’s Child called “Nasty Girl” in which she tells some other girl to “put some clothes on”) has me raising an eyebrow as she struts around half-naked belting “bow down, bitches” in one of her newest songs.  And Miley Cyrus’ songs are apparently worthy of an accapella rendition by the f’ing ROOTS.

WTF is happening in the world???!!

I find myself clinging to the past (to the 90s) when it comes to music because I can’t take much more of the Justin Beibers and One Directions that are taking over – and singing about the same damn stupid thing.  Now with all these Disney actors growing up and demanding to be taken seriously by taking off their clothes, it’s just getting to be too much.

But I totally get why Miley Cyrus had to take her clothes off.  It had nothing to do with Disney or any type of philosophical psychological Oedipus complex whatever.  Miley Cyrus took her clothes off and chopped off her hair because if she hadn’t she would’ve slipped through the cracks.  She totally would’ve been forgotten in a year or so what with the competition from other moderately attractive female artists who look like her.  These artists are cute, young, they can hold a note.

But they are mediocre artists at best.

They may as well all be the exact same person – so OF COURSE Miley had to do something to stand out.  Remember when she was a little cuter, had long hair and was singing about partying in the USA?  No one gave a flying f*ck about her then.

She had to get naked to save her career.

I totally respect her for that.

Yes it grosses me out to see her twerk but that’s because she’s not sexy – she looks ridiculous with her tongue hanging out.  It’s not provocative, it’s just strange.  Other than the gross strangeness of seeing someone you feel has no sex appeal constantly wagging their tongue around, I have no problem with her getting naked.  Everyone gets naked.  It’s just how this industry is.  It’s what happens to these women (if they let it).

Whatever, it’s her life.

If Kim Kardashian and her gross family can become famous because Kim got naked then Miley Cyrus can certainly grind on a wrecking ball to hold onto her spotlight for a little while longer.

What I’m hoping for is a resurgence of good music.  I’m hoping that Jay-Z will discover another Beyonce (circa 1997) or that another Monica will come along and sing a song that will remind us not to “take it personal.”

I just wish the music didn’t have to suffer.

We’re letting anything pass for music these days.

It all sounds like noise.

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