More On Customer Service

People are the worst part of working in customer service.

Don’t get me wrong.  Customers who greet me with a smile get a flash of pearly whites in return. And they get the best customer service ever.  But if you bark orders at me and throw money at me like you’re at a strip club then you don’t get a sincere smile.  You don’t get told to “have a nice day.” You don’t get to drain me of any energy.  You barely get my attention.  You get the minimum of my attention (the rest of my attention is back at Facebook headquarters).

But let’s play a game of ‘what if’

What if retail stores were run by club bouncers and the second some rude mother starts screaming and yelling about discounts a large bouncer came and told her to get the f*ck out.

That would be awesome!!!!!

What if customer service reps were treated like flight  attendants and the retail stores were like airplanes.  You can’t be rude to a flight attendant. You can’t get loud on an airplane.  No one wants to be on the no fly list or handcuffed next to an air Marshall. So asshole mothers, cranky old White men, and uppity Black men alike have to be on their best behavior. They have to actually be decent human beings when they go to an airport. They have to actually treat TSA and everyone they come in contact with with some sliver of respect.  It would be so awesome if retail stores were like that.  And the second some awful customer got unruly an Air Marshall or TSA would appear and pull them to the side for a random search or something equally annoying.

What if there was a $1.00 restocking fee for every item a customer pulled off the shelf and brought to the checkout lane just to check the price only to say “I don’t want it (You knew you didn’t want it when you picked it up in the first place!!!!!). A restocking fee would keep that kind if nonsense to a minimum. 

I don’t mean to complain (actually I do) but it just gets under my skin sometimes when I have to deal with entitled, impatient people who think that because I’m bagging their purchases that somehow that means they are better than me and can therefore treat me any kind of way.  Unacceptable.  There’s the trash bin right there throw your own trash away.  Also I don’t have the prices of every item in the store memorized – that’s what the price checker is for. 

The only good thing that comes out of my working in retail is the experience has made me more aware of my behavior when I’m the customer.  I don’t bark orders at the cashiers.  I don’t scream random nonsense when I’m feeling impatient after standing in a long line.  And I don’t take an aggressive dump directly on a toilet seat in the public bathroom used by both customers and employees. 

I don’t care how much money you have there is never an excuse to take a dump directly on a public toilet seat.

People…. We can do better…..

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