I don’t think I have many traditions.
I mean, I do need to have cake on my birthday. And whenever anything happens having to do with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt it requires a three-hour sit down with my college buddy to ‘dish’. And whenever I feel the slightest bit sick I must have tea, soup and Bridget Jones’s Diary on hand.
OK so I do have a few little traditions.
But recently I got to witness a really cool tradition that made me want to start having more of my own. My friend and his friends have a weekly (or monthly depending on schedules) dinner together. Either at someone’s apartment or at a restaurant. I don’t know much about the circumstances because I’ve only been present at two of these gatherings (once last year and now this year). But from what I hear (and from what I’ve seen so far) it’s a lot of fun. It really brings this group of people together and keeps them close despite the things like limited time that might threaten to pull them apart.
Maybe it’s because they aren’t actors trying to become superstars (or maybe I’m just giving LA the side eye right now) but it seems like… Friendship (and good food) is a major priority among these folks. No matter how busy they get with work and other relationships they can still carve out time for each other.
And I think that’s so sweet it almost makes me tear up a little.
Over the years I’ve heard so many people say things about their friendships – about how they could go months or years without speaking to someone they considered a bestie and when they do speak it’s like no time had passed at all. They could pick right up where they left off. They believed these types of friendships were “special” or “unique”. After years of hearing that I think I actually started to believe it. But this recent experience has given me pause. I just don’t believe that with all the social networking apps and sites available to us including viber and whatsapp that there’s ever a reason to have a so-called bestie that you go months or years without speaking to. It feels like you’re picking up right where you left of because you are picking up right where you left off. If you’re not keeping in touch how is that friendship growing? How could it be expected to move forward? How are you getting to know each other as you both change and grow older?
I said it before in the past but then let it go because it seemed to be the standard in LA to put your friends on the back burner and I grew weary of swimming against the tide. But I still feel strongly about this.
Back burner friendships may work for some people but they don’t work for me.
I choose to believe that friendships don’t have to be something you catch up on like a TV show. I choose to believe that friends can be just as important as family and that there’s always time for a quick hello or coffee or even a dinner gathering at someone’s house (or a restaurant) once a week (or month depending on schedules).
I’ve witnessed it. I know it exists.
So… I Guess it’s time to start a new tradition of my own.