Visited the British Museum today.
Didn’t mind being a total tourist with my trusty camera, map of London and the tube and my classic, “I think I might be lost” expression. Managed to find my way though and was excited to see there was a Viking exhibit. I tried to get in but unfortunately it wasn’t free for nonmembers. So….
Feeling a tiny bit like an outcast I wandered back into the Egyptian exhibit then into Greece and Rome. Amazing exhibits but ones I’d seen the last time I was in London.
Tried to take a selfie but got self-conscious when a group of tourists came over to take pictures of the great room from the upper level.
Took a moment to enjoy the sun (yes the sun!) and tried to ignore that nagging voice in the back of my mind reminding me that tomorrow is Friday. The day I find out if I’ve been offered the internship.
“This is all temporary,” the voice says, “unless you get the internship…or did you forget, Dawn. Yes…you’re just a visitor unless someone wants to employ (or marry) you.”
lol ok the voice isn’t that mean. But seeing as it is the end of the week i have become acutely aware of the fact that my time in London may be coming to an end…for the moment. I always knew my getting the internship was a long shot. I’ve already prepared myself for the possibility of not getting it.
But I hadn’t thought about how gut wrenchingly terrible it will feel to have to leave London again. It’s heart breaking…
So I’m sitting in the sun for the moment. Taking it all in. And then reminding myself that there’s still time to enjoy myself. Tonight we will have a dinner party with Andrea’s friends and my new YouTube friend, Gracey Mae. It’s my first dinner party ever and I’m hoping my first attempt at southern buttermilk fried chicken and baked macaroni won’t make anyone sick.
So…I am a mixture of anxiety and excitement and a twinge of sadness. But I am also marveling at the person I am when I’m here. Getting lost and not freaking out. Going to a museum alone. Volunteering to cook a southern dish for ten (mostly Italian) people.
Even if it’s a disaster at least I gave it a shot.
Which is the same way I feel about this internship…. Even if I don’t get it, at least I gave it a shot.
I’ll have to remember that come tomorrow….