Officially a London Student

After the chaos of my whirlwind orientation day settled down I had a chance to collect my thoughts and the realization that I’m actually back in school finally hit.

London

I’m experiencing at least 50 different shades of anxiety, nervousness and fear but overall I’m excited to have yet another opportunity to go back to school and also explore another new city.  hashtag blessed =)

London is amazing.

I try very hard not to look around in wonder like a tourist but sometimes it simply can’t be helped.  I’m still adjusting.  Haven’t figured everything out yet and I’m not quite ready to give up my trademark shorts and sheer shirts but I’m sure I’ll find a way to keep part of the old me and somehow blend it with the new me to come.

London

Classes start this week.

Already I have a sneaking suspicion that life is about to get truly hectic for the next few months.  I’m OK with that and I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to handle it.  But this won’t be like undergrad or musical theatre school.  This time around I’ll actually have to show up for class (sober) and do the work.

Also, I have to maintain a B average.  Not that I ever had bad grades in school but it’s one of the first things they stressed during orientation so I’m assuming they take that sort of thing pretty seriously around here.  It’s a good thing though because I definitely slacked off way too much at NYU.  I plan to make up for it this time around.

I do hope I won’t get too busy to keep up with my blogs and Youtube videos.  I truly hope there will be time to fully enjoy London.  Speaking of which, it looks like bowling and salsa dancing lessons may be in my immediate future.  Additionally, I may have found a free outdoor bootcamp to attend on weekends.  And I managed to find a Black hair supply store as well as a Black hair salon right near where I live.  Yay!

Let’s see what else is in store for me.

 

Outfit / #OOTD

Sweater – The Limited

Scarf – Primark

Cut Offs – Macys

Tights – Primark

The Good Stuff

Sunday starts a new week.  And with that will come a new video – Yay!  But since it’s the first day of Summer I thought I’d do a blog post today and talk about the good stuff.

First of all, I just need to say that I’m getting so much better at acknowledging the good stuff and letting it outshine the bad.  I used to wallow in self-pity like nobody’s business but now my bounce back is a lot quicker and I just have to pat myself on the back for that.  It’s not easy – it takes work for me to stay positive especially given my circumstance.  I totally tip my hat to the people who are just naturally fake sunny but at least I can admit that negativity and  I go way back and can recognize that about myself.

Anyway, here’s the good stuff I want to focus on – I’ve already talked about getting into Grad School, getting a partial scholarship and losing 10lbs.  Yay!

How about I checked my Youtube channel today and realized I’d gone from having 285 subscribers to 315 in about the course of a week?  (Maybe a little longer but I hadn’t checked in awhile so I can’t say for sure.)  That’s awesome to me.  Soon enough I’ll reach my first milestone (500 subbies) and maybe then I can do my first giveaway – wooo!

Have you seen any of my Youtube videos?  Check out Sexy Shit White Boys Say:

If you like the videos, please subscribe and share!

What else can I be happy about?

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Oh, yes, my hair is finally growing!  I’ve been working really hard to get some length and recently I took out my braids and I can see progress!  I’m so excited.  I know there’s this video trend going around where Youtubers are reminding us that outer beauty isn’t as important as inner beauty.  Nevermind the fact that most of these Youtubers range from “super cute” to “super hot,” it’s still a good message and I get that.

I know it’s supposed to be about how you feel about yourself and knowing your own self-worth and having confidence and high self-esteem.  I am re-teaching myself all of that.  But I’m not going to pretend like I don’t look at myself in the mirror and think, “Hey there high cheekbones, you would look even hotter with just a dab concealer and blush,” Or, “What’s up brown eyes?  A little eyeliner will make those eyes pop even more.”  I like my face.  But I also like make up.  So I will continue to learn to use make up on my face.  While I am working on my inner beauty I will continue to enhance my outer beauty.

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Also,  I like having hair that is long enough to offset the size of my head.  So I will celebrate seeing my hair grow.  Yay for natural hair!

Regarding work:  I’ve been making a conscious effort not to complain about working in retail.  It’s not helping my situation.  Instead it shines a negative light on what I don’t have.  Which only attracts more negative feelings.  I found that when I focus on simply being happy to have a job I notice I can get through a workday more easily.  I don’t go home as tired as I used to and I have the energy to write or make Youtube videos.  It’s been a nice switch.

But recently, my hours were massively cut.  At first I was a little annoyed and anxious about how that would affect my ability to eat.  Then I realized this wasn’t necessarily a setback but rather a set up.  I needed that reminder that I’m not supposed to be in retail.  And so with this extra free time I’ve been able to catch up on my writing and videos (which helped me get from 285 subbies to 315) and I’ve also been able to job hunt and work on scholarship essays.  Because I’m still applying for scholarships so that I can go to school in the fall.

Speaking of which – I’ve entered this scholarship competition.   It’s a ‘no essay’ competition – so it’s basically a random drawing.  But the more sponsors I have the more entries I can submit into the drawing which will increase my chances of wining.  If you click the link below you can become a sponsor and help my chances of getting this amazing scholarship.  Is it a long shot?  Probably.  But that’s what I said about getting to London in March – look what happened?

So please click the link – become a sponsor and pass the link on to your friends.

https://www.gotchosen.com/en/scholarship/sponsor/DawnMelissa

Thank you!

I won’t acknowledge the bad stuff today.  I won’t wallow in self-pity. I won’t get angry at the little things that normally annoy me.  I will simply breathe and appreciate what I do have.  There’s so much more to be thankful for.  I know there are many more miracles and Blessings on the way and I look forward to them.

Everything in time.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend.

Daily Prompt: The Crickets That Follow

Tell us about a time when someone had you completely fooled, where the wool was pulled right over your eyes and you got hoodwinked, but good. Was it a humorous experience or one you’d rather forget? What was the outcome?

In college, a boy I cared for stared lovingly into my eyes as he danced with me and told me he had feelings for me and that we should be together.

When I later shared the news with a friend she gave me a strange look and told me this boy had said something very different to her.  Something along the lines of he just wanted to be friends with me and that I was crazy.  For years after, whenever we would joke about that embarrassing moment, he would tell me I simply, “misunderstood.”

A similar situation happened not long ago.

History literally repeated itself as I sat with a group of people I’d hoped to soon call my friends- tipsily sharing the “how we met and fell in love” story only to realize too late that they were all exchanging uncomfortable looks and doing their best to avoid eye contact with me.  I later found out that my “how we met and fell in love” story overlapped with some other girl’s timeline.

The humiliating part wasn’t being two-timed.

It was the awkward silence that followed my mushy, flowery and apparently one-sided story.  You could hear a pin drop, it was that quiet.  People are supposed to go, “Awwww so sweet!” when you tell a story like that.

You aren’t supposed to hear crickets.

Ah well.

Such is life.

Daily Prompt

Dawn Melissa Vlogs: Middle School Memories

Instead of a look book or back to school advice I’m doing something a little different for the new school year:

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New Video Every Week!