Christmas in Italy

I didn’t take a lot of pictures while in Italy.  I didn’t realize that until recently when I was organizing my hard drive.  I guess I was more focused on getting video footage for my Youtube Channel.  But I like to think I was also trying to be in the moment and really experience the places I saw.  Who’s to say…

Anyway, the few pictures I did take ended up on my instagram but I did manage to take a few while briefly visiting Lugano, Switzerland.

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This place is absolutely gorgeous.  I could literally just sit down somewhere and stare at everything for hours.  I didn’t, of course, because there wasn’t much time but I did attempt to soak in as much as beauty as possible before heading back to Milan.

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After seeing Varese, Milan, Gallarate and Lugano (among a few other nearby places) we headed back to London on New Year’s Eve and managed to get this really nice shot…

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It was a lovely Christmas spent with very lovely people who were all just…lovely.  No really, I felt very welcomed and comfortable even if I didn’t understand the language.  I guess that’s what Rosetta Stone’s for.  (Did I mention I get free Rosetta Stone while enrolled in University over here?  Yeah…think I’ll take advantage of that.)

If you’d like to see how my first trip to Italy was please check out the new video on my channel.

Don’t forget to subscribe and comment!  More travel videos coming soon!

Have a good week!

Super Hero Complex

It’s borderline delusional – I literally think I can do anything.

Repent. Release. Repeat.

Please Subscribe to Dawn Melissa Vlogs on Youtube!

BACK IN THE GROOVE

My trip to London kind of threw me off for a bit…but I think I’m finally getting back into my routine.  Here’s How:

London Journey: Part 1

It’s so scary to step out on Faith.

A lot of times there’s no safety net.  And if you’re like me- completely afraid of failure and rejection- then it may be rare to put yourself out there and allow yourself to actually want something.

I feel like I haven’t really allowed myself to want something in a long time.

If I want something too much and I don’t get it then it’ll hurt.  And I don’t like to feel pain.  But I want to move to London.  That desire has never waned and so there is no ignoring it.

I had the chance to go to London to interview for an MTV internship for which I’d been shortlisted.  I had 9 days to raise the money to fly out and with so little time to raise the money, it was uncertain whether or not I’d make it to my interview in time.  But with the help and encouragement of friends and family I managed to keep the Faith and I got there.  So I vlogged about that experience.

Please check out Part 1 of my London Journey:

I used Go Fund Me to raise the money.  I recommend Go Fund Me for anyone doing personal fundraising.  They make it very simple and they have excellent customer service.  http://www.GoFundMe.com

Part 2 of my London Journey is coming soon.  I’ll have a lot more video of London and the results of my interview.  Please RT, Like, Comment and Subscribe to my Youtube Channel:  Dawn Melissa Vlogs

Thank you!!

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17.20 NIV

Rockstar 101 – How To Have a Rockstar Day

Keep it real – keep it Rockstar.

Repent. Release. Repeat.

We Need People

New video is either late this week or Super Early for next week.  You decide.

Dawn Melissa Vlogs:  “We Need People”

Please Like and Subscribe – it’s a New Year after all!

So Now What?

I’m blasting Beyonce’s, “XO” as I’m writing this.  It’s helping.  A little.

Today was not a good day.  Despite my morning Prayer I was not resilient today.  I was not in high spirits.  And I don’t feel like it’s Christmas Eve.  It feels more like a random day in March than the Holiday Season.  Cue the Debbie Downer music.

I’m struggling tonight.  My inner critic is on a mission to break me tonight.  She whispers, “You’re working in retail…you’re not a writer…you’re a failure,” and her voice is getting louder and louder and no matter how loud I blast Beyonce’s “XO” I can still hear her.

I know I’m just feeling tired.  I worked a super long shift tonight (Yay for overtime thanks to last minute Christmas shoppers) and I’m feeling like even though I spent 11 hours of my day doing something…I have nothing to show for it.  I pushed buttons, counted money and said Merry Christmas to people who were too distracted by the numbers on my cash register to even hear me.  That’s how I spent my day.  That’s why my inner critic is laughing at me tonight.

Ah but that’s not even why I’m feeling sorry for myself.  Because feeling like a failure as a writer is nothing new to me at this point.  It’s whatever.  I thought I would’ve made it by now.  I haven’t.  Oh well.

It just sucks watching people I used to collaborate with move on without a backward glance.  Start new writing teams.  Develope ideas we originally started.  My first reaction is be snarky about it – be a hater.  But I suppress that.  Because the whole reason I severed ties with so many people in 2013 was so that I could become a better person.  So that I could look at myself in the mirror and not hate what I saw.  Being angry about what they do now that they are no longer in my life would be counterproductive.  And a waste of energy.  So I suppress the snarky thoughts.  I woo-sah through my jealousy.

I let go of the past and people who weren’t right for me but…the hurt still lingers.

And that’s the honest truth.

So how do I get into 2014 without bringing this hurt with me?  I’m supposed to be looking forward to the New Year.  I’m supposed to be getting my Resolutions ready.  I’m supposed to be swearing off alcohol and junk food and finally finally finally losing that weight.  I’m supposed to be getting ready for yet another reinvention.  Instead I’m sitting here watching Youtube personalities put their seemingly awesome lives on the internet and I’m feeling a little green.  I probably should not have gone on Youtube tonight even if it was to watch some of my favorite vloggers.  Tonight they did not make me feel inspired.  Tonight they made me feel…a bit useless.

Tomorrow will be better…but tonight I’m struggling and so I needed to vent about it.  Because I really do want 2014 to be significantly better than 2013.  I’ve done a lot in 2013.  I won’t let my inner critic try to tell me I sat on my ass for 12 months.  I did accomplish some things.  One of them was being more consistent with my Blog and Youtube Channel.

But now what?

How can I improve on this in 2014?  I can’t spend another year in Los Angeles doing the same thing and pretending like I’m actually getting somewhere in life. In fact, I can’t spend another year in Los Angeles – period.

It has to get better from here.  It just has to.  This is rock bottom.  With no friends and no career and only my rinky dink vlog as my creative outlet- it really has to get better from here.

But how?

I guess I’m going to have to figure that out.  Somehow.