Officially a London Student

After the chaos of my whirlwind orientation day settled down I had a chance to collect my thoughts and the realization that I’m actually back in school finally hit.

London

I’m experiencing at least 50 different shades of anxiety, nervousness and fear but overall I’m excited to have yet another opportunity to go back to school and also explore another new city.  hashtag blessed =)

London is amazing.

I try very hard not to look around in wonder like a tourist but sometimes it simply can’t be helped.  I’m still adjusting.  Haven’t figured everything out yet and I’m not quite ready to give up my trademark shorts and sheer shirts but I’m sure I’ll find a way to keep part of the old me and somehow blend it with the new me to come.

London

Classes start this week.

Already I have a sneaking suspicion that life is about to get truly hectic for the next few months.  I’m OK with that and I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to handle it.  But this won’t be like undergrad or musical theatre school.  This time around I’ll actually have to show up for class (sober) and do the work.

Also, I have to maintain a B average.  Not that I ever had bad grades in school but it’s one of the first things they stressed during orientation so I’m assuming they take that sort of thing pretty seriously around here.  It’s a good thing though because I definitely slacked off way too much at NYU.  I plan to make up for it this time around.

I do hope I won’t get too busy to keep up with my blogs and Youtube videos.  I truly hope there will be time to fully enjoy London.  Speaking of which, it looks like bowling and salsa dancing lessons may be in my immediate future.  Additionally, I may have found a free outdoor bootcamp to attend on weekends.  And I managed to find a Black hair supply store as well as a Black hair salon right near where I live.  Yay!

Let’s see what else is in store for me.

 

Outfit / #OOTD

Sweater – The Limited

Scarf – Primark

Cut Offs – Macys

Tights – Primark

The Good Stuff

Sunday starts a new week.  And with that will come a new video – Yay!  But since it’s the first day of Summer I thought I’d do a blog post today and talk about the good stuff.

First of all, I just need to say that I’m getting so much better at acknowledging the good stuff and letting it outshine the bad.  I used to wallow in self-pity like nobody’s business but now my bounce back is a lot quicker and I just have to pat myself on the back for that.  It’s not easy – it takes work for me to stay positive especially given my circumstance.  I totally tip my hat to the people who are just naturally fake sunny but at least I can admit that negativity and  I go way back and can recognize that about myself.

Anyway, here’s the good stuff I want to focus on – I’ve already talked about getting into Grad School, getting a partial scholarship and losing 10lbs.  Yay!

How about I checked my Youtube channel today and realized I’d gone from having 285 subscribers to 315 in about the course of a week?  (Maybe a little longer but I hadn’t checked in awhile so I can’t say for sure.)  That’s awesome to me.  Soon enough I’ll reach my first milestone (500 subbies) and maybe then I can do my first giveaway – wooo!

Have you seen any of my Youtube videos?  Check out Sexy Shit White Boys Say:

If you like the videos, please subscribe and share!

What else can I be happy about?

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Oh, yes, my hair is finally growing!  I’ve been working really hard to get some length and recently I took out my braids and I can see progress!  I’m so excited.  I know there’s this video trend going around where Youtubers are reminding us that outer beauty isn’t as important as inner beauty.  Nevermind the fact that most of these Youtubers range from “super cute” to “super hot,” it’s still a good message and I get that.

I know it’s supposed to be about how you feel about yourself and knowing your own self-worth and having confidence and high self-esteem.  I am re-teaching myself all of that.  But I’m not going to pretend like I don’t look at myself in the mirror and think, “Hey there high cheekbones, you would look even hotter with just a dab concealer and blush,” Or, “What’s up brown eyes?  A little eyeliner will make those eyes pop even more.”  I like my face.  But I also like make up.  So I will continue to learn to use make up on my face.  While I am working on my inner beauty I will continue to enhance my outer beauty.

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Also,  I like having hair that is long enough to offset the size of my head.  So I will celebrate seeing my hair grow.  Yay for natural hair!

Regarding work:  I’ve been making a conscious effort not to complain about working in retail.  It’s not helping my situation.  Instead it shines a negative light on what I don’t have.  Which only attracts more negative feelings.  I found that when I focus on simply being happy to have a job I notice I can get through a workday more easily.  I don’t go home as tired as I used to and I have the energy to write or make Youtube videos.  It’s been a nice switch.

But recently, my hours were massively cut.  At first I was a little annoyed and anxious about how that would affect my ability to eat.  Then I realized this wasn’t necessarily a setback but rather a set up.  I needed that reminder that I’m not supposed to be in retail.  And so with this extra free time I’ve been able to catch up on my writing and videos (which helped me get from 285 subbies to 315) and I’ve also been able to job hunt and work on scholarship essays.  Because I’m still applying for scholarships so that I can go to school in the fall.

Speaking of which – I’ve entered this scholarship competition.   It’s a ‘no essay’ competition – so it’s basically a random drawing.  But the more sponsors I have the more entries I can submit into the drawing which will increase my chances of wining.  If you click the link below you can become a sponsor and help my chances of getting this amazing scholarship.  Is it a long shot?  Probably.  But that’s what I said about getting to London in March – look what happened?

So please click the link – become a sponsor and pass the link on to your friends.

https://www.gotchosen.com/en/scholarship/sponsor/DawnMelissa

Thank you!

I won’t acknowledge the bad stuff today.  I won’t wallow in self-pity. I won’t get angry at the little things that normally annoy me.  I will simply breathe and appreciate what I do have.  There’s so much more to be thankful for.  I know there are many more miracles and Blessings on the way and I look forward to them.

Everything in time.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend.

Super Hero Complex

It’s borderline delusional – I literally think I can do anything.

Repent. Release. Repeat.

Please Subscribe to Dawn Melissa Vlogs on Youtube!

Post Workout Sweat (And Tears)

wpid-img_20140521_123354.jpgI’m slowly getting back into working out regularly and eating right.  My ongoing weight-loss journey continues…

I know I’m always starting my weight-loss blog entries with “I’m getting back into this.”  It’s a bummer that I keep letting myself down when I fall off the wagon but at least I do get back on that horse and I try again, right?  (I know I’m combining different analogies here but you get what I’m saying) 

I did four Cassey Ho Blogilates videos in lieu of running at the gym.  I worked on my abs, legs, arms & back and butt (tee hee) and it hurt the entire time.

A funny thing happens when you’re pushing yourself through a tough workout.  Your thoughts start to wander, you sweat profusely and, if you’re a sensitive little thing like me, you may start to cry.

To be clear, when I say “cry” I don’t mean break down into hysterical tears in the middle of my workout like a crazy person.  I mean, cry like in that way you do when you’re pushing through something and no matter what you’re going to get through it.  Like childbirth.  Or a hotdog eating contest.  Or life, in general.  I wasn’t in tremendous pain – I could definitely feel the burn but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle physically.  I just needed to cry my way through it a little bit.  And you know what?  I got through the damn workout.

Oh it’s such a simple metaphor for life.  I may have some tough, tear-filled nights that I’ll have to continue to sweat through but come hell or high water I will get through them.  (Yay! Breakthrough!)

(In my defense, I really must say that Cassey Ho’s workouts are ridiculously hard so I’m sure a lot of people have cried through them.  Confess your tears in the comments below!)

Cheers,